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How Do You React To Being Misgendered?  


How Do You React To Being Misgendered?

Misgender: To refer to a person using terms that express the wrong gender, either accidentally or deliberately; for example by calling a woman "son", a boy "she", or an agender individual "he" or "she" instead of "they".

We welcome your answers to this question; we understand this is a very personal subject as for most transgender people it can invoke a lot of different emotions and lead to low self esteem.

  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Negative Body Image
  • Fear


We believe that your discussion in this 'Misgendered' topic will allow other trans men and women to understand they are not alone in having faced being misgendered.

We hope that through your answers and discussion, that other trans people are better able to cope with the mental effects and deal with them through a healthier perspective, also for non trans readers of this thread they can learn to address us with the gender we are presenting. Please give as little or much information you feel comfortable with.

Please click the 'Answer' button to reply to the question.

Edited: 6 years  ago


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Well, it all depends on who is doing it. 

Sometimes I just ignore it if it is someone I knew in my past life, but haven't seen in a while. 

Sometimes, I will correct them, but I've noticed that women will get it quickly and correct themselves, men, however seem to be unable, especially because I look like a man in a dress. They are too visual.

Sometimes, I will misgender them back and then we laugh. This usually confuses wait staff, but it makes them think.

Courage is not lack of fear, but determination to conquer in spite of the fear.


Now it barely ever happens anymore. The last time a stranger misgendered me was maybe a year ago, and I got stunned into silence because I really wasn't expecting it. I quickly dismissed it, feigned to have not heard him right, and moved on, but deep down I was shocked and it woke up some insecurities.

 On the other hand, some very close people have used misgendering me to get to me and hurt me. It works, so they get kicked out of my life now. I consider that they've had enough time to get it right so that they would intentionally misgender me is just mean, and I don't need that attitude around.


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