Scenario A:
This is a childhood friend who has grown some distance from you in the last years, or a family member.
You come out to them.
At first, you can see that they aren't totally surprised but they resist admitting that they always saw it in you. They opt for doing their best to welcome you, and when they say they'll do what they can to support you, they mean it.
And that lasts a few weeks, a few months, and then you can see that whatever resistance they had at first progressively take all the room. To use the proper pronouns for you seem terribly hard to them, like an almost impossible chore, and the least you can do is praise them non-stop for trying.
Then all of a sudden, they're so busy, or gone, or don't return calls. First thing you know is that all their close friends believe that they're a martyr for accepting you, and that you're the toxic snowflake who wouldn't be tolerant enough with them. If you are able to end up confronting them about all that, they'll most likely throw to your face that they believe deep down that you're mentally ill (not the gender you identify as) and that they simply don't wrap their mind around it.
Now, if you were more reasonable, they'll say (or think really loudly), you'd stop that silly little game and go back to admitting you are actually the gender that was assigned to you at birth. They'd definitively support you there.
^---- This scenario, and that type of person, well sadly I haven't found any solution to have them come around. Maybe with time, they'll come back around, but until then it's better to stay away from them if you can.
Scenario B:
They are usually a really close family member, like a parent or sibling. You come out to them, and they just straight out refuse it. That rejection can be rather violent and dangerous.
After a while, we're talking months-years there, they come back to you and tentatively claim they will adapt in some way in order to have you back in their lives. They show limited curiosity, and you have to personally inform them, drop by drop, about your reality.
It goes rather well for a good time although there are still some steps that they won't cross, like calling you by your new tittle in public, or some other similar thing. You even feel that after a while you're in the clear with them and they've accepted you for who you are.
But no.
Something happens, sometimes a completely unrelated argument, a crazy week at work, an accident; and their deep truth comes out. They'll let you know that their initial rejection of you, in all its disgusting violence, was how they felt all along, that it didn't change. They just decided to hide it for your sake, but somehow, hiding it is not worth it anymore.
^--- This, I've seen it too. I've experienced it from my mother. It totally appalls me how some people can't cope with modifying their vision of the world, even just a bit, to include us.
The best response to this scenario I've found is to stick together with the good people, and to talk about it.
Scenario C:
They are the new person met in a trans group, a new friend, or just somebody who has been very exposed to trans issues before. Rarely have you known them for a long time.
You come out to them after a bit of trust was established between you. They react with moderate enthusiasm, but positively.
Their knowledge on trans comes in handy because they avoid making big mistakes, like asking a bunch of invasive questions, or talking like if you are/were your gender assigned at birth. Instead, they get to know you for who you are as a person, and your trans status becomes secondary. That makes you feel like you have gotten a good friend there, and even an ally. You can even confide in them about aspects of your transition and you know you won't be judged.
That's that. Those people are really wonderful to come across if we're open to that.
Scenario D:
Now we're talking about a new acquaintance who is socially involved, and knows some basics about trans but not that much.
You come out to them, and they immediately show acceptance, they will even congratulate you for your courage (big telltale there!), they'll even praise your work-space and other living areas for being this agreeably inclusive of you.
They might become an otherwise good friend, but they're ending up being terribly misguided on trans issues. They might even tell you to your face that they don't believe you're the gender you are, but that they're very accepting non-the-less. If you're like me you try to dismiss this problem and focus on the better aspects of your friendship, but sometimes it comes up and education has to happen, like when they out you just to make a point.
And when you try to educate them, you find that they are very good with the knowledge they already have and really don't want any more than that. They will aggressively resist; to them, the principle of letting the oppressed minority speak is nonexistent. Why would you have to say anything when they're out and about saying everything for you?
All this boils up progressively to a huge fight, where they have to accept you as you are (for real, not with a pat on the head that means they're right and you're lucky to be saved by them) or loose you as a friend.
For real I don't know what to do with those specific people either, but right now I really do try to avoid them.
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